AGE-u-cate Training Institute Blog

When we think of the word "home" it elicits more emotions and memories than any other word in the English language.  Do we in Aging Services give enough consideration to the emotional impact that leaving home has on elders? Imagine leaving home and believing you will never return. Are we doing enough as caregivers to recognize and acknowledge the impact leaving home has on elders? 

The Impact of Relocation

As we age, the need to relocate may occur several times. People may move from an established home of 40 years to a retirement community with desirable amenities or smaller quarters to reduce the burden of property upkeep. They may even move to be closer to family or a residential care facility. An important consideration for families and caregivers is the possible impact of relocation. What do we do to help?

Our natural responses could be: "It's OK, this is your new home" or "It just takes time to adjust."  Many of us want to respond by giving advice, trying to cheer up our elderly family member, or changing the subject. We mean well, but these responses stifle communication and understanding things from another person’s viewpoint.  No doubt, these are sincere efforts to comfort and reassure, but let's consider how we can take our compassion one step further by employing empathy.  

What is Empathy?

Empathy is putting yourself in someone else's shoes in order to imagine what they are going through, understand, and even share their feelings.

According to Stanford University graduate Ted Talker Mike Robbins, empathy is one of the most critical aspects of creating solid relationships, reducing stress, and enhancing emotional awareness.  

His 2021 blog provides the following benefits of empathy:

• Benefits your health (less stress and less negativity which leads people to be in better shape with stronger immune systems)
• Leads to a happier life
• Improves communications skills
• Leads to teamwork
• Creates a healthy work environment
• Transcends personal relationships
• Decreases negativity

How to Overcome Transition issues with Empathy

• Ask yourself how you would feel if you were missing home (lonely, sad, scared?) and let yourself feel that for a few minutes.
• Now observe how the elders feel (angry, sad, worried) by active listening with no interruption.

• While it can be hard to fully grasp another person's point of view, respect that whatever they're experiencing matters.

• Then let the person know you understand what was said, for example, "I understand that you are very angry about having to suddenly leave your home" or "I can see that you are very worried about who is taking care of your house while you are away." 

After acknowledging the feelings, you can then continue by validating, "It must be hard to miss your cat so much."  Giving your care partner the time to express feelings and then validating those feelings is the most helpful approach you can offer because you cannot change anything about the reality of the situation.

Can empathy be taught?  Absolutely!  Would your staff benefit from a deeper understanding of empathy?

About the author:

Julie joined the AGE-u-cate team in 2020 after working 31 years in nursing home operations. Starting in social services and admissions, she moved into management and executive positions in 1990 after obtaining an Illinois nursing home administrator license. Her passion for dementia capable care came early in her career when she had the good fortune to work with and learn from culture change pioneers. Julie is also an adjunct instructor in Gerontology and Aging Services at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, IL. She has two adult children and lives in the Northwest Chicago Suburb of Schaumburg with her husband and three fur babies. She is convinced that she was a lounge singer in a former life.

This month is Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. Age-u-cate is excited to prove an introspective view into caregiving within the Asian community from one of its own.

Dementia Competencies and How to Choose Good Education

Hosted by Joan Devine, the Pioneer Network presented an outstanding webinar entitled, "Dementia Competencies and How to Choose Good Education."  The Dementia education universe is vast and varied, and it can be difficult to navigate to the most effective and relevant training.  

The opening message offered by presenter Kim McRae, Founder of "Having a Good Life" and Co-Founder of the Culture Change Network of Georgia is that we should not use "Alzheimer's" as the general term for dementia.  This causes a lot of confusion and marginalizes those living with dementia not related to Alzheimer's.   As leaders, we need to be consistent in and steadfast in understanding this important distinction. 

Jennifer Craft Morgan, Director and Associate Gerontology Professor at Georgia State University made a salient point that education and knowledge acquisition is important, but it must lead to skill-building.   "Surface learning" alone will not change employees' care approaches.  

Improving education and training and developing supports for direct care workers to implement skills in context has the potential to transform the workforce to a dementia-capable, culturally competent workforce. - Jennifer Craft Morgan.

Check out quality education programs provided by AGE-u-cate here: 

So, if change is what we are after, then the first criteria to evaluate is whether the chosen curriculum will result in modifying employee care actions.

Kim McRae, Founder of "Have a Good Life" and Co-Founder of the Culture Change Network of Georgia cautioned listeners to avoid narrowly viewing people living with dementia from the standpoint of loss and deficits.  In doing so, we create stigma, loss of well-being and excess disability.  Training must un-do the "patients vs people" approach of the past and inspire the workforce to see the human being first.  

The speakers then discussed language that should be used in training curriculum, because words absolutely matter.  

"Living with dementia vs suffering with dementia"

"Responding to stress reactions vs managing unwanted behaviors"

 Just as important as the content is the delivery.  The presenters asked attendees to think back to their last training and identify the things that the instructor/training did that didn't support learning. 

Helpful list of what not to do

• There is no interaction with the learners or engagement (lecture only)
• Content was not relevant to the work of the learners
• There is no hands-on application
• Old and stale material
• Trying to cover too much information at once
• There is no way to experience the learning

Another critical point is that training should not be one-and-done.  Learning must be consistent and ongoing, and reinforced by leadership.  Leaders need to excite their employees!  Talk with them about what they learned and how it can be applied to achieve person-centered care and improve the quality of life for elders.  

In summary, training curriculum as offered by Ms. McRae and Dr. Morgan should: 

1. Include contemporary best practice language with positive messaging.
2. Result in skill-building of care team members.
3. Offer resources to enable leadership to reinforce the learning and drive change.
4. Be Interactive and engaging to keep employees interested in continued learning.
5. Involve all care-partners, not just the direct care workers.

Many thanks to the Pioneer Network and presenters for this critical and timely information.  

About the author:

Julie joined the AGE-u-cate team in 2020 after working 31 years in nursing home operations. Starting in social services and admissions, she moved into management and executive positions in 1990 after obtaining an Illinois nursing home administrator license. Her passion for dementia capable care came early in her career where she had the good fortune to work with and learn from culture change pioneers. Julie is also an adjunct instructor in Gerontology and Aging Services at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, IL. She has two adult children and lives in the Northwest Chicago Suburb of Schaumburg with husband and three fur-babies. She is convinced that she was a lounge singer in a former life.

1. Your Program is More Than a Calendar
The calendar is only 25% of engagement in your community. The remaining 75% is just as critical; resident discovery, fostering new and ongoing relationships between staff to residents and staff to staff, communication tactics, and partnerships with the greater community.


2. What if Residents Had a More Active Role in the Planning Process?
The approach to creating a calendar can look different! Resident designed. Weekly approach versus monthly approach.

3.Community Engagement = Collaboration
Interdepartmental collaboration between programming/activities, dining/culinary, sales, and marketing to ensure experiences are designed to be elevated and engaging and marketing and sales know-how to how to share via media and with prospective residents and families.

4. Turn Your Gaze Inward
Your greatest asset lives and works in your community….the residents and staff! Both are filled with passions and skills that can enhance community engagement. We cannot plan a life “for” someone, instead, it has to be “with.”

5. Stop Buying “Stuff”
Budget-friendly program opportunities….movement, breathing, going outdoors, gratitude, and building connections and what about being green and environmentally friendly.

6. Learning About the Growth Factor
Activities versus Programs….know the difference.


7. Boardroom Confidence
Take a seat at the table….how to make a business case for your needs.


8. Engagement Begins with Discovery
Resident discovery….what do you want to learn? Where does this information “live”? Who can access this information? How often do you update it?


9. Don’t Take it Personal – Level Up
Leaving the past in the past! How to move forward thoughtfully and professionally.

10. Self-Advocacy & Professional Development
Find a mentor! LinkedIn, fellow senior living colleagues, etc. Find someone who teaches you to have the confidence and demeanor to advocate for yourself with facts and data, not losing your composure and becoming emotional.

I posted an article on LinkedIn sharing perspectives on how engagement professionals can maintain the traction gained of respect and enhanced quality during the pandemic.  Check it out for a free download of/ a Tips for Elevating Engagement Professionals handout as well as a full recording of a recent conversation with Sara Kyle and Kelly Stranburg with LE3Solutions and myself!  You're sure to find encouragement, best practices, and next steps as you continue the good work in your community.  AGE-u-cate and LE3Solutions are here to support you!

I consider myself fortunate that so far, nobody in family has lived with dementia.  Many people working in aging services are there after having personal experience caring for a loved one.  Strangely enough, my first experience interacting with someone living with dementia was in college, during an internship in a CCRC my senior year. 

Sometimes we all need to be reminded of how our little part in helping a world in need can change our thinking. 

Matt Reiners is the Co-Founder and Vice President of Eversound, a hearing solution company dedicated to improving the quality of life for elders.  Recently, he had a conversation with our own Laura Ellen Christian about the future of training and education for the senior living industry.  

In the world of options for quality life engagement programming, seeking activities that decrease staff direction serves many purposes:

That latest research from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving is alarming. The US had 43.5 million unpaid caregivers in 2015. By 2020, that number soared to 53 million. Nearly one in five or 19% provide unpaid care to an adult with health or functional needs. 

In my last blog post, I shared a recent poll we had conducted that asked what type of training is most effective for aging service providers. Experiential training was the clear leader, followed by peer-to-peer mentoring. Online learning came in last.  We need to change our thinking about online learning!