Quality Time Together is a Precious Gift
Holiday gift-giving for elders, especially those with cognitive changes, is often daunting for families. Too often, the decision comes down to a new nightgown or slippers.
We need to help families think outside the box! Of course, quality time together is the greatest gift we can give our loved ones. But what does that mean?
Persons living with dementia can still feel emotions and engage in meaningful activities is too often overlooked by staff and families.
Because of this, too many times, we see family visits that are awkward and meaningless. Both leave the visit feeling empty and sad.
Can we change the quality of visits? Of course, we can! It just takes some ingenuity, teamwork, and ... a basket!
So, what goes in the basket? This is the fun part! Here are some tips:
- Start with some teamwork. Ask staff and other family members what things or events they tend to remember and communicate most often. Is it from their childhood? Teen years? Early adulthood? Married years or into childrearing? This is very important. What an adult child remembers may not be the same as what mom remembers these days. The goal is to create a memory basket that will engage mom or dad, aunt or uncle, grandma, etc.
- Once you've established the time periods they seem to most engage with, start collecting items such as pictures of things that relate to their life. Here are some examples:
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Tap into memories of hobbies, such as sewing, knitting, woodworking, gardening, fishing, or sports. Gather items that relate to those hobbies. Dig for some photos showing the person engaging in their pursuit, then look for related things. Tactile objects like fabric, gardening gloves, woodworking tools, yarn are all great starters. They can touch and feel them. Photos will help invoke the feelings they had when they were engaged in activities they enjoyed doing.
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- Keep safety in mind, especially if you plan to leave the basket with them. Anything sharp (no fish hooks!) should be avoided. That said, if you want to bring an item you will leave with, it might be a memorable conversation starter.
- Engaging the person to touch and feel the photos and objects may take some prompting from others. An example might be this: "Mom, you made such beautiful clothing. How did you learn to sew?". Mom may start talking about how she learned to sew from her mother or grandmother. Can you imagine where the conversation may lead from here? If, on the other hand, mom doesn't respond, perhaps you tell her about the particular item she made for you and how much that meant to you.
- When engaging in conversation with a memory basket, it takes a bit of prompting and flexibility to land on the "sweet spot" - the place where those memories start to come alive and invoke feelings of people, places, and events that still reside in their memory. That's truly when the magic happens!
- Try not to overthink the basket items and be willing to try new things for new visits. Bring only a few items in at one time. Otherwise, they can easily be overwhelmed and frustrated.
- Memory baskets are to share with family members during visits. It's not a gift to "drop off ." Instead, you are creating memories for yourself and giving the incredible gift of allowing them to relive some of their past. They may not remember your visit, but they will remember how it made them feel - those memories stick!
Reminiscence is the enjoyable recollection of past events
What better gift than to help them relive special times in their lives? A memory basket can become a vibrant, ever-changing collection of items that invoke smiles, laughter, and joy - for both receiver and giver!
AGE-u-cate's Flashback activity is a great addition to a Memory Basket or a gift in itself! It's a fun and engaging reminiscence activity for many generations to enjoy together. If you are looking for an affordable, meaningful gift this year for a loved one or friend, it's not too late to order here!
